u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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