Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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