Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize