if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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