Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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  (314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present. http://tfl.nu/xf6g
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased

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  (617): Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased http://tfl.nu/sw63
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.

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  (336): If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions. http://tfl.nu/lybr
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Little spoons don't ask big questions

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  (330): Little spoons don't ask big questions http://tfl.nu/13tl
  Replies (18) Good night (4256) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.

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  (518): You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO. http://tfl.nu/kgev
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  (315): View more from New York

  i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?

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  (315): i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now? http://tfl.nu/2nou
  Replies (16) Good night (3805) Bad night (1037)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I used to practice getting hit by cars.

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  (352): I used to practice getting hit by cars. http://tfl.nu/t3x2
  Replies (23) Good night (2128) Bad night (3289) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.

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  (954): i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar. http://tfl.nu/rj0l
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out

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  (540): You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out http://tfl.nu/n0iw
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.

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  (484): omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers. http://tfl.nu/h63v
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  (510): View more from California

  I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay

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  (510): I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay http://tfl.nu/zswj
  Replies (15) Good night (1393) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.

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  (603): and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks. http://tfl.nu/aapi
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.

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  (215): Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit. http://tfl.nu/g1ie
  Replies (0) Good night (832) Bad night (313) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life

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  (330): I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life http://tfl.nu/2qsb
  Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.

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  (443): Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her. http://tfl.nu/t8u7
  Replies (0) Good night (437) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt

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