you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize