About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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