If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I CAN MOONWALK!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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