He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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