Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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