my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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