ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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