Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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