remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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