I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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