1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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