I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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