"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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