I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
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So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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