Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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