Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize