dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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