Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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