I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize