a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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