put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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