i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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