I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize