Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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