dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize