would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
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Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
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He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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