sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize