I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize