her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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