hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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