yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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