He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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