Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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