She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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