sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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