my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize