never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's rum buckets o'clock
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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