I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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