Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
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if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
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I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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