Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize