That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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