i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize