Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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