No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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