I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize